Margin - {Week 3}

We attended our third circle group meeting last night at Reg & Staci's with some other members of our church.  We're still deep in the Margin series and this weeks topic was on moral margin.

I'll start by saying that I grew up in a church of christ church and there were just some things that were never addressed - sex definitely being one of them. 

Our pastor started his sermon on Sunday by letting us all know that it would probably be something that would make us all a little uncomfortable - he wasn't lying!  The first thing he asked was "how many of you know someone whose life has been impacted by sexual sin".   I don't think there was anyone that didn't raise their hand.  It's amazing that out of a whole congregation there wasn't one person that hadn't been effected by it... a sign of the times, I suppose.

He went on to talk about how important it is to create your own "guardrails" within your marriage to prevent yourselves from crossing the fine line that leads to infidelity.  If you are constantly flirting with the line, it makes it extremely easy in a moment of weakness to cross it.  It's so important to have your own line of margin, to prevent crossing the real line; which we all know what that leads to. 

He also made a point to say that sin is sin in God's eyes... it's all the same.  Whether you are breaking the law while speeding or having an affair, technically there is no difference.  The only thing different is that some sins have horrible consequences for your time on Earth.  A speeding ticket will basically cost you only in monetary amounts.  However, having an affair has the opportunity to cause such a ripple effect that most people that are involved in them don't even realize will happen until it's too late.  It will change your relationships, not only with the spouse you cheated on, but with your kids (if you have them) and your families in general. 

I loved how he put it in another light - no one goes into a marriage saying "I'm going to wreck my family in 7 years and I'll just deal with it then".  No one does that!  It all happens as a result of not having margin in your relationship.  By not setting ground rules for your spouse and even more importantly, for yourself... you run the risk of falling into temptation. 

As newlyweds (celebrating our 1st anniversary next month!), this really hit home for me.  Not because we've had to deal with it at this point in our marriage, but because I just don't know what the future has in store for us.  It's so important that we build our marriage and our relationship on a solid foundation now, so that we can hopefully avoid that heartache in the future. 

Back to our meeting last night - there happens to be a couple that have endured this same struggle in the past 6 months.  After months of being separated and trying to sort out the mess their family was in, they moved back in together about a month ago.  They are determined to work on their problems and provide a stable, happy home for their two kids. 

It's so inspiring to me!  I think it's so easy (and I definitely do it myself) to say that you would leave in the event of that happening, but how awesome is it for them to show their kids that they made a mistake and also show them that they will do anything to make it right.  I know it was the most difficult thing they've ever gone through, but I can see in them when they talk about it, that they are hell-bent on making it work. 

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.  Perhaps they have to endure this hard time in order to bring their family closer to God.  Maybe it was meant to happen to them so that a young married couple (us) can look at them and see just how important it is to have communication in their marriage.  Whatever the reason may be, I will just keep them in my prayers.  I know I would want the same if I were in their shoes.

Our "Guardrails"
I'm not sure that we have ever really set ours in stone, these are just the steps I can think of off the top of my head that we've taken to protect our marriage.

*We don't go to bars without our spouses, unless we are with family. 
*We don't have friends of the opposite sex (unless they are mutual).
*We let each other know where we are at all times.
*We talk - a lot!  If something is on our mind, we make it known, always.
*We seek each other's approval with our finances.  We always talk about our purchases before they happen.
*We never have closed-door meetings with someone of the opposite sex at work. 
*We make it a point to spend a tons of time together - it's hard to become one if you're never around each other.

Some of these may seem a little extreme, but we do them out of respect for each other.  It works for us.  There is no one in the world as important to me as Graham and I plan on making our marriage last forever!

Pa's 87th Birthday!

On August 31st, Graham's Pa turned 87.  We all met at Eddie & Debbie's for dinner (and cake!) to help him celebrate.  Dani had the great idea that we should all take some family pictures with Nana and Pa in the orchards that evening. 

Each family took turns posing with the grandparents and somehow I didn't think about trying to get some of my own until we were almost done.  I did manage to get a few cute ones of the kiddos with them though.

I was actually waiting to post this until Dani had a chance to send copies of them to all of us, since they were all taken with her camera, but she hasn't had the opportunity to look at them yet.  I'm excited to see how they turned out!  Once I get my hands on those, I'll add them to this as well. 

Mollie wasn't very entertained...



 

Mollie, Gracen, and Jackson with their Mimi and Papaw

Wetlands {Part 2}

This past weekend I finally went out with the hubs to do a little riding on the 4-wheeler.  Graham has been begging me to go with him for what seems like months... but it seems like I've always got some kind of project going on.  The Margin series we've been going over at church has really stuck with me the last couple of weeks and has made me realize I need to make time for things like that; so off to the river we went!

I know I already posted about how much rain we got a few weeks ago, but it still amazes me just how much water is left standing - nearly two weeks later!  It's just not normal for our area to get this much rain at one time.

This is the dirt road we normally take to get to the river.  It's normally completely dry and dusty.

 

 

  

One of the local farmers' shooting range was nearly completely under water.



Wild and free!

On our way back to the truck we drove through the Guy farm to see the cows.  Y'all know I love cows!

  

  

Enjoying some time with my honey.



Finishing up some projects

I spent a majority of the weekend finishing up a few projects that I had started and hadn't quite got finished.

The first one was this old couch that was given to me from our old neighbor.  It had been in an abandoned house on their property and they found it right before they started demolition on the house.  They had no problem with me hauling it off for them.  =)  It had hideous, nasty cushions that we immediately took off and took to the dump.  I knew that I wanted to paint and distress it, but with it being only a few days before we moved into the farm house, it quickly got put on the back burner on my things-to-do list.

Fast forward to this weekend... I decided it was time to get that thing finished up.  I had a beautiful turquoise paint I'd gotten from Lowe's last summer that I thought would work great on it.  Since I actually like the look of chipped paint on furniture I decided that I wouldn't sand it beforehand; I just applied a thin coat and I was done!  Eventually I want to go back and distress it with the sander and some stain, but I'm trying to get the house unpacked/organized/decorated before this weekend when I'll be throwing Graham a birthday dinner with his family.   

 

I found some bright outdoor cushions at walmart that happened to be on summer clearance (score!) to dress it up a bit.  I think it turned out great and it looks perfect on our front porch!

Kayla ran to Roswell for us last week to pick up a few more yards of fabric.  So Saturday evening I got busy finishing up my Halloween rag wreath that I started last weekend.  I got the idea from one of the many wreaths floating around on Pinterest.  We initially started out with half a yard of each color of fabric.  Kayla picked up another half yard each when she went back to Hobby Lobby, but it actually ended up being a little too much.  It ended up being really full though, so I love it.  I also found some little letters to spell "eek" that I painted with a bright green and topped it with some silver, glittery paint.  I superglued a bobby pin to each letter and attached it to the fabric. 

 

I'm so happy with the way it turned out!



Wetlands In The Desert

Like many parts of the nation, southeastern NM has been under a severe drought for the last two or three years.  I remember reading somewhere that 93% of rangeland and pastures in our state is rated as very poor due to the lack of precipitation.  Many ranchers and dairies in the area have had to reduce the size of their herds and some have had to get rid of them altogether - due to the increased prices of feed; which largely is due to the fact that the farmers have a lower supply of water to farm with. 

Countless times when Graham and I would ride the 4-wheeler to the Pecos River to do some target practice, we'd find that the riverbed was all but dried up.  More times than not, it was absolutely dry.  Graham would ride up and down the scorched riverbed, just because he could.  I was always to chicken to go with him.  =)

 

One of our many times seeing the Pecos River with minimal water flowing.
(March 2013)



Last week ours and the surrounding areas received a much needed break from our crazy, dry conditions.  Between Wednesday and Friday, our rain gauge showed 4 1/2 inches - more than I can ever remember seeing before.  It was gorgeous and so relaxing to just sit on the back porch as the rain came down. 

Since it's been so dry for such a long time, it caused lots of flash flooding in the surrounding communities.  The campgrounds in Lakewood, just south of Artesia, had to have around 80 people evacuated.  I also heard that there were a few homes evacuated in Roswell - due to the water in the canals rising at an alarming rate. 

I cross the Pecos River every day when I head to work (and come home), and although I assumed the river would be running with a little more water than normal, I was shocked that it had reached it's full capacity... and then some!  I read on KRQE that it was running at flood capacity (obviously) and was at it's highest stage in more than 53 years.  I've never seen anything like it in my life; it was almost like I was at a place I'd never been to before. 

The water covered the pastures for what seemed like miles and miles.  There was also a herd of cows that piled themselves on one of the highest mounds of dirt that was completely surrounded by water.  I assume it will be a week or so until the rancher will be able to get to them for feeding. 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

I'm sure it has effected a few of the farms that were closer to the river, but I think for the most part it's been something that we are all extremely grateful for.  We've needed rain for such a long time and God heard our prayers.  In terms of being in a drought, we're certainly not out of the woods yet, but it can't hurt.  I for one am excited to see the river running again!

Crafting & Our First Dinner Party

Hey y'all! We spent a lot of time with friends and family this past weekend, and we enjoyed every bit of it. There was lots of crafting and a ridiculous amount of food - just the way I like it! Here's a little re-cap of our weekend.

Friday:
Friday was homecoming in Bulldog country and Graham was asked to drive one of Cisco's new Rangers in the parade that afternoon. I got off work and came back in to town at around the same time, so I decided I wanted to ride with him. I met him at Bulldog Bowl, where everyone was getting lined up in their appropriate spots.

Afterwards, we went to Wal-mart to get our shopping done for the dinner I was planning the next day. Hours and way too much money spent later; we were ready for our first dinner party! Well, at least we had the stuff... I still had to put it all together.

Saturday:

Cisco was having a big year end clearance sale to try to get rid of some of their 2013 inventory, so Graham was going to have to work all day.  I got busy getting all of the food prepped so it would be easy to get it all made come dinner time. 

Around two that afternoon my SIL, Staci, and my good friend, Kayla came over to make some wreaths.  Kayla and I both started on Halloween rag wreaths with fabric we had picked up from Hobby Lobby earlier that week, while Staci got busy working on a Texas Tech ribbon wreath to go with the new TTU sign I got her for her birthday. 

Let me just say that we all totally underestimated how long our projects were going to take and how much material we would need to complete them.  Needless to say, none of us were able to finish our projects.  On the bright side, we enjoyed mimosas, some veggies with ranch, and a really freaking good spinach, artichoke, green chile dip with some chips/baguette bread - not to mention some much needed girl time!

Around six that evening Staci's husband and kids came over for dinner, along with her sister, Erin and her family.  Graham's bff, Jamie also dropped by for a little while.  I made some asado, beef fajitas, chicken fajitas, and spanish rice.  Don't let my pale complection fool ya... I can make some seriously good mexican food.  I also made some banana pudding and a Pumpkin Bundt Cake with a browned butter glaze I found on pinterest.  And of course I've been slacking in the picture-taking department, so I have no pictures to prove how good dinner was. 

We had such a great time though.  I love having enough space to entertain and love even more that I have a kitchen big enough to make food for all of our little parties!

   

Sunday: 

Graham woke up with a runny nose and achy bones.  He thought it was his allergies at first, so he took some medicine and we headed off to our first church service in a few weeks.  Poor dude spent the whole time with some kleenex clenched tight in his hand, while he fought to keep his nose from running down on his shirt; it definitely wasn't allergies.

After church we went home to change clothes before heading to his parents for a quick lunch to celebrate Staci's birthday earlier last week.  We hadn't heard whether they would be having a get-together for her, so we brought our present when we went over for our circle group meeting on Wednesday.  We enjoyed some KFC chicken and time with Graham's family before heading home so Graham could get some rest. 

I got him started on some cold meds and had him lay down in the bed to take a nap.  I read the Sunday paper and decided I needed a nap too.  Before I knew it, 5 o'clock had rolled around and it was time for me to get up and put some dinner together.   



Tig, Mercy, and Annie enjoying nap time with Graham.

 

Graham's home sick today, and I feel like I'm starting to come down with the same crap he has. Nothing a little cold medicine and extra sleep can't conquer!

Enjoy your week...

Margin - {Week 1}

Our church has promoted circle groups for as long as I can remember, but we never really felt comfortable getting involved in one. The purpose of a circle group is that circles are better than rows - meaning that you will likely get more out of a sermon when you are able to have a discussion about the topic at hand, with the other members in your group. The idea is to put God's word into an action plan for our lives.

Graham and I went to our first circle group meeting last night, which happened to be hosted by Reg & Staci at their house. There were 5 couples total and although I felt a little awkward at first; I think it was exactly what we've been needing.

Our topic for the next few weeks will be "Margin". 

- Margin is the amount available beyond what is necessary.

I am infamous for going all in or not doing it at all in so many aspects in my life. I don't leave a lot of room for variables to come into play, which often leads to me being stressed out when it happens... which happens all the time!

When margin decreases - stress increases.

In my struggles with weight loss I tend to go all in for a few months at a time with huge changes, that are often unrealistic when it comes to my long term goals of keeping the lbs off. I leave no room for the things I love in my diet, which leads me to binge eat later. It's so important that I learn to leave a margin of error; to allow for those things every once in a while. It's all about balance.

I also tend to set the expectation that I will work out 6 days a week and when that doesn't happen I often give up because I've failed. I don't leave room for the possibility of things coming up.

When margin decreases - your relational intimacy decreases

While we were saving to buy our house I made it a point to put every dime that wasn't allocated to bills and food to our savings account. I mean that literally. We didn't have a lot of money to do anything extra. Yes, it made it possible for us to close on our house and have money left over to buy new furniture and pay off my car, but it also left us feeling extremely stressed out. As a couple, we needed to have a few date nights and we didn't make that happen near enough.

A lack of margin is also a reflection of idolatry.

Sad to say, but my i-phone has become quite the obsession for me. Between pinterest, facebook, instagram, msn, youtube, and so many other apps I often don't spend the amount of time that I should on my husband and work. I'll be the first to say that I'm addicted.

Next Steps

{Take time to rest this week with Christ. This time could
consist of praying, reading the Bible, or just enjoying
some quiet time alone. Be creative. Remove the
distractions for just a little while and allow Him an
opportunity to renew your soul and your mind.

Begin the process of reducing some of the stress in
your life this week. Identify one or more things that are
creating too much stress and create a plan to reduce
that stress. Not only write down your plan of action, but
have someone hold you accountable as you carry out
your plan.}

Although I have a couple of areas in my life that needs attention, I'm going to focus on limiting my time on social media this week. I'm going to focus on praying more and spending more (quality) time with my husband. I'm going to focus on living in the moment!

Until next time!